It’s Thunderbirds come true today
Aboard the gleaming, thrumming Mole
It’s got a screw that turns in front
that makes a bloody great deep hole
The Centre of the Earth no less
We’re off! But first to Crystal Cave
A million glistening shards await
Like gewjaws in a Pharaoh’s grave
We burrow on through seams of coal
No-smoking signs turn on inside
Please fasten seat belts. Wine or tea?
No windows, but enjoy the ride
The captain’s voice booms out “Ahoy!”
We've reached the mantle, viscous stuff
It’s hot. Don’t worry, coolers on
Let’s hope they’ll work for long enough
Now molten metal, hotter still
Then solid core, it’s time to dine
The Centre of the Earth at last!
We’re weightless, God! Mind that damn wine!